Aug 14, 2006 by Marty Misa

Photo by: Jake Verzosa

You wake up, look in the mirror, and feel you may as well just go back to bed. That’s what an ugly day feels like.

On a day that you’re feeling singularly unattractive, it is precious small comfort to know that even Michelle Pfieffer has bad days, on occasion. Attached or unattached, no woman has the monopoly of feeling under the weather when it comes to beauty. We all have our low self-esteem days—hair doesn’t cooperate, our nose is all of a sudden, intolerable, and we curse our genes for not giving us perfect skin. On an ugly day, a single woman suffers the delusions that the reason she has no special someone is because she does not look like Joey Mead. On the other hand, the attached woman fears her boyfriend or husband will leave her for some Cameron Diaz look-alike with perfectly shaped thighs.

Such is the plight of women, unfortunately. Blame it upon centuries of societal conditioning. We are the fairer sex, and by fair—they were talking about much more than complexion. We are supposed to be pretty. That’s what you’re supposed to be if you’re born a woman. How else will you find a husband, have a happy life? Never mind brains, never mind a personality. If you’re a woman, you should hope and pray to God that you are beautiful, because only when you are beautiful will you have a happy life.

Sometimes, it is even worse than just an ugly day. Some of us have real self-esteem problems that stem from poor body image, insecurity and a lack of confidence. And if that’s easy to feel bad about the way we look, it’s even easier to feel worse. Our inadequacies are aggravated by the over-abundance of female perfection that assaults us every single day—perfection that the average-looking Filipina simply cannot live up to. Flick on the television or flip open the pages of a magazine—yes, even a magazine like this one! Sadly, society puts a premium on female beauty, even female perfection—and those of us who cannot live up to that standard (and many of us don’t) must find constructive, positive ways of dealing with feeling inadequate—beauty-wise. And cosmetic companies feed on those feelings, put out more advertisements for this or that product which will assure female perfection. Then everyone and her sister rushes out to buy whatever that is with fresh hope, only to be thwarted. In this way, the vicious cycle continues.

So you want to jump back onto bed because you’ll never have a face like Donita Rose and you’ll never have a body like Cristina Garcia’s? But of course, you can’t. You have to make the best of it, make any repairs and enhancements to help make yourself presentable, at the very least. So you’re a little blue…maybe even a lot blue. Life has to go on.

What else can you do about it? Well, here are 10 things that should help you lift yourself out of the beauty blues…and feel true-blue beautiful for real. They worked for others; maybe they’ll work for you.

1. Look around! The beautiful aren’t perfect.
Take a look at the models and actresses that are acknowledged beauties and try and pick out what exactly it is, in terms of physical features, that makes them beautiful. Even a cursory look will reveal to you that these celebrated faces are not perfect. A mouth too wide. A nose too fine. Complexions can be ruddy or too pale and washed-out looking. The point is, the beautiful have their imperfections…but they work around them. You can work around yours too.

2. Exercise! Endorphins give you a beautiful glow.
A good solid hour, or even 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity whether it’s walking, running, aerobics or even making love—that kind of exercise gives you a glow. So the next time you wake up feeling blue about not being beautiful…put on your running shoes and hit the track, even just a brisk walk will lift your mood…not to mention put a rosy hue to your face.

3. Smile! And mean it…it is the great beautifier.
Even the ugliest face is made less ugly when it’s a smiling one. Frown and you set yourself down a few beauty notches. Remember, however, a fake smile doesn’t do it either. Think happy thoughts. Recall a funny incident. Thank the Lord for small good things and you will find that smile on your face. Keep it on, and rest assured you’ll be prettier because of it.

4. Get on a Program! Set some goals and work towards them.
The point is, no matter what you look like, there are always things you can do to look better. Start a daily fitness-and-healthy-eating program. Or start conditioning your hair. Set some beauty goals and work towards them. Remember, many so-called beautiful people are inspired by the beautiful people and start working towards your personal beauty goals—whether they’re about losing weight, getting nicely tweezed eyebrows, getting the right haircut and color. The energy and determination of simply setting these goals will make you feel and look better already.

5. Find a role model! Then watch and learn.
Instead of letting your self-esteem go like limp spaghetti and drowning in a pool of envy when you see a pretty face, just take a good look at them and learn. What is it they do that makes them so beautiful? Focus your attention on their strengths and weaknesses instead of wallowing in your own flaws. Better yet, find an acknowledged “beautiful” personal who has a similar body type and take a long hard look at what she does that makes her beautiful.

6. Be nice! Let your inside beauty shine through.
Remember, it really does come from within. As clichéd as that may seem, it is true. Recall all the people you thought were so pretty or beautiful, until you got to know them and found out they had loser personalities. Your own positive personality can lift you straight out of “average” and directly into “winning beauty”. Being a nice person can make all the difference.

7. Get a massage. Then get over it.
Massage is muscle therapy. And it does do the body good. This is a great pick-me up for an ugly day…because afterwards, you are relaxed, calm, and flushed in a very attractive way. Then stop obsessing about the way you look. Do the tasks you have to do and forget about it.

8. Read! Fashion and makeup sense can go a long way.
Sometimes beauty is how you bring it. Direct translation: nasa pagdadala. Looking good is rarely ever completely God-given. Even a truly pretty girl becomes less so when it’s evident that all she’s really thinking about is how she looks.

9. Don’t give up! Don’t ever let yourself go.
As ugly as you might feel on a bad day, don’t ever let yourself go. Resist the urge to throw on something lousy and go without makeup because you believe you can’t salvage the unsalvageable. Not true. You can. Put a favorite, no-fail outfit. Wear a classic color—black, red, or navy blue. Brush your hair, slap on concealer, pressed powder and lipstick, no matter how you feel. It is worth it.

10. Exude! Beauty is an attitude.
If you can’t muster it, fake it. Will yourself into a beautiful person…and realize that beauty is so subjective anyway. No slouch herself, acclaimed makeup artist and head of her own cosmetic firm, Bobbie Brown, in her own book Bobbie Brown Beauty: The Ultimate Beauty Resource, says is best: “I am convinced that confidence is probably the most compelling element of real beauty. In every aspect of my life, I consciously strive to boost my self-confidence. I make a practice of limiting negativity and hassles that can drag me down or erode that self assurance.” So stand tall. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, say a prayer and exhale. You are the way God created you. How can you not be beautiful?